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LiveJournal for The One You Can't Forget....

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Friday, October 16th, 2009

(2 shooting stars | wish upon a star)

Time:11:22 pm.
so i jus found ,y user name and pasword for this joint. and wow what crazy silly things r on here lol. can we say flash back? lol whos on here nemore neway thta i know?? daaaang its been FOREVER!!reading all this has made me life. :)

Saturday, April 24th, 2004

(wish upon a star)

Subject:well it has been quite some time now
Time:10:46 pm.
Mood: content.
I thought my last post was done but i guess for all you homies out there calling me, leaving me messages, and e-mailing me and carrying on about how you never hear what's going on and can't get the story straight. i will just post a quicky on here. err well at least i will post for the last time on this,lol. (i hope) lol well Me and my Best friend Josh ARE getting married this year. With much anticapation from both sides of our family and friends and of course US,heheh :) He Re-Proposed to me on April 9th (Good Friday) at my work in front of everyone in his dress blues. He came in and totally surprised me. (he asked my father earlier that day for my hand in marraige i found out ) He got me a quarter carat heart diamond yellow gold ring ( the 1\2 carat he was going to buy me looked too gaudy for my finger ;) lol ) well our wedding plans started not too much after. I have my wedding dress and it is beautiful! we are going to be having 2 weddings for sure (this I'll explaine why later on) my friends and parents are helping me out on this which is awesome and yes, it may be this may and if so probably the 22nd but Hopefully it will be in September when his MOS training in NC is done. (see his MOS was switched so he isn't doing the year schooling in Florida like planned. he will be in aviation electronics specialist for 108 days) but he may not have any time from that till he gets stationed in Okinawa Japan. so therefore. if we get married this may i will move with him to NC and then we will move together to Okinawa Japan to live for 2yrs. either way i am moving to Japan ,lol My buisness is going great still. I have 8 different states i sell in. Not to mention countless Bands. (none of this is through internet , craft shows, or flea markets. All are stores :) and bands) I am excited about bringing my buisness to a new country. I will finally be getting my own shop too. sorry again but i dont go online much if at all so you probably will never get ahol of me unless u have my number. you can try your luck at e-mailing me but good luck. my life is too busy for internet use. oh and on the second wedding thing. We are doing a nice simple one for the first since we will need as much money as we can for our honeymoon and the rest of the fun stuff that comes with marraige and for the second one we will be having that when we get back into the states (we'll be living in Okinawa for 2yrs most likely) and that one will be onr of our dream weddings ;) very extravagant and tons of people. we're gonna be renewing our vows every so often down the years :) we are having a reinassance wedding for our second one with doves, horse drawn cairrage,and it will be at a castle. we're also gonna do one by the ocean as well. our first one will provably be done at a park. who knows what we will be doing for our other weddings. God has been sogood to us and blessed us beyond belife. WE know this is Gods plan for us and that this is no coincidence how we met and what has happened. God had it all planned from the start and I couldn't be happier. He IS and ALWAYS will be my Heart and Soul and Best Friend. He is everything I have ever wanted in a man. He makes a pretty sexy marine too ;) lol He's my big devil dog :) well that's all for now. I don't like the internet much so I hope this clears some things up for all of you and now maybe you can all quite asking me questions,lol

Thursday, August 28th, 2003

(2 shooting stars | wish upon a star)

Subject:I think it's rather funny...
Time:10:48 pm.
Mood: ecstatic.
funny how ppl like to pout and wallow in their self pity. ha. guess what. im feeling better than ever and nothing is getting me down. everything i hear is a compliment, a song, something beautiful to my ears cuz God is in my life and He is directing my steps. funny how ppl can be childish when your life becomes something you always wanted it to be and theirs is falling apart. right now all i need is the immediate ppl in my life. life i great and i havn't been happier. so go ahead hunnies and feel bad for yourself and act childish if you want cuz my life is wonderful and im not gonna stoop to your level ^_~ nothing can get me down now. chow! ^_^

oh and sorry i don't listen to messages from ppl who don't have balls enough to tell me themselves so until you personally talk to me don't bother cuz i won't hear it.

I lovers you Jesus!!!!!!!!! *mwah!*

hypocrites make me laugh. teehee

Saturday, August 23rd, 2003

(6 shooting stars | wish upon a star)

Subject:I'M GETTING MARRIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Time:8:35 pm.
Mood: ecstatic.
well august 4th i came up to nates late at night and went to Josh's from there. i spent the night ta josh's house and hung out with him and mommy watching movies and stuff. i had the best worst time in my life there. david stopped by that night got pissed at me cuz i was with josh and walked off. well me and joh decided that it wasn't going to ruin our night. well next morning mommy comes into josh's room where we are sleeping and tells me david is downstairs and a bunch of crap happened. now God has been telling me for a while to break it off with david and ive talked to ppl about it and it's helped me and so that day it was finally done. we broke up. alot of yelling, crying, and talking went on. mommy and josh were there for me to hold me and comfort me. i love them both with all ym heart. they are so good to me i wouldnt trade the world for them or let anyone get in between me and them. so that day we all celebrated me being single. we went out to eat and stuff and watched american wedding. i treated mommy, josh and peter. and there was jus something in my feelings that clicked that night. something that resurfaced in me :) but that's another story. so ya anyway david kept coming by and i was so paranoid. nate and josh were ready to beat the crap outta david cuz of how bad i felt. but they kept their cool around him. but ya david called constantly and i understand why but i needed som,e space that day after what happened. he scared me when he cussed me out outside that morning. it hurt that he would think i lied to him about going to josh's when i was his girlfriend and he knew me. but ya like i said alot of misunderstanding and crap went down. mom, josh and i made the best of it that day though. even through my paranoia and theirs. so after that so much went on that i dont member much. i met this kid dan who came through my line in walmart. and i guess she fell in love with me. so he says. and we are good friends now but im leery about being around him now cuz he wants to marry me and stuff anf im not into him like that. so anways. i went back to davids to talk to him and dan came with me and josh met him and took him for a ride when i was inside talking to david. i didn't know this till afterwards. and i thought when i came out josh and nate were gonna beat the crap outta him and i'd find him beaten on the road all bloody and crap but turned out josh loves him muches now :)well days went by and i went up to josh's again with dan and spent the night at Jake and Jer's apartment with , Isaac, and of course dan and josh. it was great . me and josh ended up talking from 3am till 9am. we got alot out. this was saturday night. we told each other our feelings. got it all out........i was so happy :) ims o glad we don't change our actions jus cuz of what we feel. we still wanna do that year of not dating anyone but God for a year :) so we have till august. but ya so josh and i are both single and it rocks. he took me out to some victorian houses and we walked in a park together watched the sunrise and walked on top of a train :) then went to see mommy and went out for breakfast with tony and mommy. then we came back to teh apartment and still were not done talking! lol we talked till our words were slured,lol. we fells asleep on jakes bed. josh is so cute he kissed my forehead ^_^ i love kisses on the forehead. so then dan, me and josh went to mommys house cause jake and isaac were gone. but we woke up at 12 then so they were at church and stuff. Josh skipped his acting school so he could be with me :) tis happiness ^_^ he picked me flowers and mommy :) we went to see freddy vs. jason that night with his brother shawn and his friend tookie. it was good. :) i love him and dan muches. they are good guys. but always my joshy. we, me and josh and dan had fun wrestling and tickling eachother. me and josh always do that though. its great. so ya i think i went up again monday night and spent teh night at josh's by myself and it was so sweet he asked oif he could sleep in thegoing same bed as me and i was like ya sure thats fine and i was like freezing in his bed cuz we had the windows opened and teh fans going so i was shivering and i woke up early morning and saw he was sleeping so i whispered to him and he woke up and it old him i was freezing so he held me :) he told me i shoulda woke him up to let him know and i he would have held me, and i was like awwwwww that's so sweet. he's such a gentlemen, he totally respects me . like we wont cuddle or hold hands or anything even though we like eachother and stuff. we totally wanna jus stay best friends for now. so we got up early in teh morning and went to see mommy at the doughnut shop were she works and she called me her daughter then said in-law ^_^ teehee she's so silly. oh ya josh and i watched a walk to remember :) it was nice ^_ i like that movie. he was going to slow dance with me when i said that i wish i could slow dance with someone and stuff and i blew it by saying well maybe the first person i will slow dance with now will be my hubby,LOL so i opened my mouth and stuck both feet in i guess huh,lol. but i made an exception :) so him and i can dance now and i can go to prom with david :) thats if im not too old by then or married,lol. who knows. i just KNOW i will be married very soon though like within 2 yrs or something. but i promise you i am going to be married sometime soon :) so you all can come to my wedding, peter rische is playing music at my wedding, annie is gonna be my maid of honor and nate will be in my wedding, isaac, and david i think. and Josh deffinetly will be ^_~ lol so will mommy and OH amber will be there for sure! she will be a bridesmaid i think. as of now Jesus is my main man and my only boyfriend.everyone thinks Josh and i are getting married. lol funny huh? my rents think s and so does josh's im sure, david thinks so and some other ppl do. strange huh? lol i guess not so strange though. but ya. IM GETTING MARRIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol and I'm SO EXCITED!!!!!!! Isn't it cool how God tells us these things! i had a great talk with peter about "it" and he is so shocked and is totally happy. oh yeah me and josh took peter out to galena and hung out together rit rocked. we also visited david and we went to the stephenson county fair for free cuz of joshy's mommy. i hung out with amber, hannah, elizabeth, and janets friend. saw david again to get my camera. i spent teh night davids once. i missed him . i lovers him muches. he'll always be my baby boy. josh and i took this mini tour of a house. not the one we want to get though cuz that one was closed for the night. we are so moving into a house though. he's going into the marines now..... im going to miss him terribly but im behind him 100% i talked to him a bit today about it. i was scared cuz i talked to this wife of a marine and she barely sees her hubby and so i was afraid i wasn't gonna see joshy but he calmed my fears :) i hate leaving him and david. last time i was up with josh i couldn't stop talking to him and i didn't want to let him go when i was hugging . i hate saying good bye cuz im never ready to. so much left to say and do. im jus so happy mommy loves me alot and that josh does as well. so ya thats the current news in a very brief kinda way. lets jus say since the break up God has blessed me beyond what i should be blessed and has been there for me 100% on things and all the pieces of the puzzle are fianlly falling into place. my life has been made complete........ almost. just a couple more pieces and i know they are there jsu takes some time. like 2 yrs or so ^_~ lol

Wednesday, July 30th, 2003

(2 shooting stars | wish upon a star)

Subject:sad news
Time:10:39 pm.
Mood: contemplative.
well for now ill start with good news, er i guess it's good news, umm well ok it's stupid news, i drove around tonight in my Pj's ^_^ teehee. jus me , the night, and my music. now for the sad news.... I got an e-mail from the band Bleach and apprently their brother Josh Byers got kille din Iraq during battle. so Jared and Milam are prolly gonna take a break from the tour. i think that's what they said anyway. but ya their brother was a dedicate dCaptain and it's so sad taht he left behind a great famiyl and wife. He was supposed to come home this month i think, but he never made it :( he was struck by a remote-controlled bomb that killed him and severely wounded several others while he was driving :(

(wish upon a star)

Time:6:28 pm.
Mood: okay.
man i wish AJ was back from court. i already miss talking to him. we talked so long last night :-P lol he's the bomb baby and rocks my world hardcore style ^_^ He's such a great friend. my boyfriend sent me some cute photos of us :) he's a sweetheart sometimes. he wnast me to drive out to see him , but i don't think it's such a smart idea quite yet. josh agrees with me. it's jus a lil too soon even though i know i can make it. my rents aren't for it either, but maybe soon ok dave??? :) so much for moving into the house with my friends next year,lo. i got to get this car paid off and hospital bill. maybe a couple years down teh road or something. Josh and i talked and he said since he is getting this acting job, he wnats to get a house and have me live with him. and i think that'd be pretty awesome living with ym bestfriend you know ^_^ can't get anybetter than hanging out with one of your friends every night and day. he's gonna take me with him traveling too which is so cool. but again there is no guarentee he will get enough parts to pay for this all. but i jus think it's sweet of him to think of me :) im almost posotive he'd take dave with us too. beign taht he's our best buddy too. him and Josh are just liek brothers. it's so awesome. im so thankful they are such great friends. i admire their relationship alot, im not sure if they even iknow that. everytime i hear that they arer together or hanging out or when i see them both having fun it jus makes my heart smile cuz i see such a greta bond between them. and it's something where i know how it feels and it's wonderful. im blessed to have them in my life and i wouldn't change meeting them for this world. me and josh were talking one night and it seems to both of us as if we have known eachother our whol entire life, but yet it has only been a lil over a year and with david he's jsu such a greta person to mess around with and have fun with. he's my teddy bear :) and i hope that no matter what happens between us that we'll never change, that we'll always be there for eachother and still stay great friends and do almost everythgin we do now as far as cuddlign, wrestling and junk like that, that i love so much. ~~~hey david if you are reading this you shoudl scan that pic of me you and josh and the one you guys kissing my cheek :) get it from josh if you can.~~~ i should get ready for church right now./ God's been trying to tell me seomthign and im figuring out whta it is.......... I'm not liking it But my jesus is important to me and for Him i must live, ive slipped alot, and i want back in His arms, i want to feel close to Him liek i once did....... but for now i must leave. love you all muches!!*hugs n kisses*

Tuesday, July 29th, 2003

(wish upon a star)

Subject:die? me? naww, hahaha
Time:9:57 pm.
Happy Deathday!
Your name:jadedxgirl
You will die on:Monday, December 19, 2022
You will die of:Choking
Created by Quill

(wish upon a star)

Subject:MWAHAHAHHAHAHA Defeate me!
Time:5:24 pm.
Mood: silly.

is a Giant Man-Eating Plant that came from Another Planet, shoots Laser Beams, and has a Toughened Steel Skeleton.

Strength: 5 Agility: 2 Intelligence: 2

To see if your Giant Battle Monster can
defeat Jadedxgirl, enter your name and choose an attack:

fights Jadedxgirl using

(wish upon a star)

Subject:my brand new car ^_^
Time:4:39 pm.
Mood: happy.
Well, I took my new car all around today and bought stuff for it. I'll be on a somewhat of a tight budget for a while till i get my hospital bill, and some other bills paid off. So by January, it'll be a lil rough. but i got it all budgeted out so im not worried at all. Th guys at the car place changed my oil and filter for me for free, but tonight I'm gonna put in a new air filter. My next step is I'm getting a cell phone. Thta won't be so hard for me to afford ^_^ depending on what i get. but that prolly won't be till everythign is paid off, liek the bills...... but who knows. The neat-o thing about my car is that it has mainly the same engine as my fathers Oldsmobile Intruige, cept his is a '98. I do love my car ^_^ It's a great reliable car and it drives really smooth. It's got alot of rockin things built in like rear seat heaters, a sunroof, cd and cassette player, keyless entry and alarm, electric seats that can be raised or lowered, seperate temp controls for passanger and driver, and controls for the radio/cd player on the stearing ^_^ the interior is nice, cushy and big, and i have entry from the back seat into the trunk if i want. it's jus got a lot of cool gadgets. it also tell me when my tire pressure is low ^_^ I filled my car up with gas today so that is all done..... David wnats me to come out to see him tonight , but im not so sure that's such a wise idea, driving out there so soon. I'm getting aduplicate key made tomorrow for my dad /mom to have jus in case they need to use my car. my key has a chip in it so no one can steel my car ^_6^ ah yes, lower insurance rates! i got a 4.99% intrest rate for my loan ^_~ the best you can get, now who can't tlel me God's hand is in this! that is better thanm my rents interest rate. my insurance isn't bad at all either I can't remember what it is at the moment ,but ill tell you sometime. GUESS WHAT JONATHAN AND JENNA!!!!!! I CAN FINALLY COME VISIT YOU!!!!!! but that won't be until a lil while, when i can afford it ^_^ lol So i guess It's NY for me and my friends next year woohoo baby!!!!! I FINALLY get to see AJ!!!!!!!! man I cannot wait!!!!!!!!

(4 shooting stars | wish upon a star)

Subject:well, it's about time.
Time:10:12 am.
Mood: bouncy.
I'm picking up my new car today. yippy. after much looking and decieding, I've finally chosen one. It's a 1999 Buick Regal LS. I made that choice out of the 2000 chevy impala, 2000 honda civic, 2001 mitsubishi lancer, and 2002 nissan maxima, and a 2000 mazda protege. the buick turned out to be the easiest for me to afford, even though the others i could have bought as well. but this one was the most sensible car and well it jus fits everything i was looking for except for the sporty style,lol. i got a grandpa car baby and it rocks like no one. I had some difficult choices (and im sure some of u have soem words to say on my choice,lol) but as always my Lord was right by my side directing my path in what He wants for me and in turn making it my want as well. Our Daddy always tells us that if we follow Him He will give us the desires of our heart. Now, I havn't been the best little girl at obeying my Father, so I don't know why He is blessing me,but remember when He talked about giving us undeserved blessings and grace? I think that's what it is. So for this Lord I thank You. Being paitent is a virtue and very prosperous in the end. Never cease in your prayers, because God will always answer them, it just may take a while ^_~ so ya, I'm leaving now for my car!! bye!!! pray for me ^_^ and thanks to all who have been :)

~Hey Daniel I hope your back gets better hun!!! thanks for your prayers, you are an awesoem guy and im glad God had us meet ^_^ *much hugs, love, and prayers to you*~

~And as always timmy, you';re in my prayers. You're a great buddy and I love you tons. Just you wait till you're in college ;) you'll be alright. trust me :) besides, im always here for you :) or at least i try to be even though im gone almost everyday.*hugs,love, and prayers*~

~congrats to my baby boy Joshy for being one of the 30 that were accepted for the acting auditions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im so excited for you, I know you can do this but please keep a level head and always keep your eyes on Jesus, He brought you this far so don't lose sight hun.!!!!!*big hugs, love and prayers*~

~Don't forgot David I'm praying for you and your family sweetheart. I know it's gotta be strainging on you all and rough at the moment, but you'll get through it. If you ever need someeon I'm always there for you. call me anytime if you need to talk alright???? I'll try my best to be what you need :) *love, hugs, prayers and kisses*~

Tuesday, July 8th, 2003

(9 shooting stars | wish upon a star)

Subject:this is for Jonathan ^_~ LOL
Time:7:18 pm.
Mood: accomplished.
well well, i finally am updateing my journal! yes, that's right Jonathan, I figured i wouldn't make you beg although it seemed like it ^_~ lol j/p you must be shocked that I am actually writing in this! lol well it makes me feel really good that you actually care and read it :) so thanks buddy. I'm hoping that i can see jenna the 11th :) that would rock hardcore and it'd rock even more if you could come to lifefest too but i myself am not even sure that i can go, but im hoping :) if i do go i can only go for 1 day :-P we'd have to figure out some way to meet eachother. I'll think of something if i go :) maybe malke a shirt with some witty words :) anyway now to start posting on my week! ^_^ !!!!!tadun~tadun!!!!!!!!

Well my first day of vacation, the 28th, was spent going to Woodfielf mall with dave :) we spent ALL day there. i tried on bridesmaid dresses, other clothes, bought some cool pants, earings, jewlery you know. stuff. and some rockin shoes :) apparently i accidently flashed the dude at the vans store when i bent down to put my shoe on :-P so that's why he smiled so big i guess :-X oops. shiznit happens , right? lol he was cool to begin with though :) uhm the next day was spent, of course, with my guy. (i spent the whole week with him cept the days i had to work) well this will be too long if i write day to day what i did so im jus gonan sya all that i did. not be specific. i went to chicago went to all the museums but they wree closed. wlaked around teh lake a ton and the beach, got commented on my butt a tonage and hit obn with my boyfriend right next to me. but that's chicago for you.. went with annie to house on the rock. she drove part way and i drove the rest. but shhhhh don't tell the rents. ^_~ lol it was fun :) we loved teh house it rocked. i payed for the whole trip and everything. she has done sooooo much for me it's time to give some back :) i think the ticket was 19.50 per person or something. my vacation i treated anyone who went with me. it was a free ride for them basically. I didn't mind. I normally spoil people anyway ;) the next day i went with my rents to rockfalls to some antique store and this rockin muffin store. they gave free homemade muffins out. mm was it good :) then me and dave went to the madison zoo. we also saw fireworks for the 4th and did some with jake. we went some other places too that i can't remember at the moment :-P OH we surprised tim on his graduation party and visited him. got to see my boys :) i totally missed c-stone hardcore :( but a lot of my friends went so i was happy for them. tim talked to matt putman (from living sacrifice) at c-stone for me and he said his wife wears my wristband everyday now and so does his little son miles ^_^ and they want some more of my stuff. they are totally diggin my merch ^_^ i was stoked to hear that. dave and i chilled saturday sunday and monday. we had a tornado and 120mph winds at like 2 or so AM early sunday we did alot of swimming and watched A TON of movies. i got paid $15.60 an hour on the 4th :)err josh came home sunday and came to daves and we all went to church and then went swimming with jake, jody, isaac, peter r. , dave, and janet. but janet didn't come in the water. uhm i think that's all i want to say for now. i jus did lots of stuuf :0,lol. lots and lots of traveling. anyway. tim you're the bestest for getting me those patches at c-stone !!!!!!! you totally rock my world! thanks for being my best friend and thanks for all those e-mails jonathan. sorry it takes me so long to get to them. i hope to see you and jenna soon !!!!!! ill see what i can hook up. and maybe this time you can actually get a hold of me at home ;) lol anyway night to all. im going to bed early again. love you! mwah!

Monday, June 9th, 2003

(6 shooting stars | wish upon a star)

Subject:what went down the past week.
Time:10:18 pm.
Mood: tired.
so here goes the whole story......

i spent the night at davids saturday may 31st and sunday we went to josh's graduation party. well after that dave and i went back to his house and left for mine cuz my uncle and aunt from boise idaho were up so we visited them and went back to daves and hung out and then josh came over and spent the night with us. well josh wanted to talk that nigth around 12 so sice dave was tiored i firgured this would be a great time then . dave could go sleep while josh and i have our time and talk. but dave was quite reluctent to let me go so i told him i'd come back to tell him goodnight and that he should rest cuz josh and i are gonan talk. so he went to bed after a while. josh and i let around 12 i guess and we took a walk outside talking. i always love talking to him. we have great convos and well ya. i jus cherish it everytime :) he's muh best buddy and we jus share everything , so it's really great. we get our chance to bond. so ya we walked to the church and sat down/layed down, whatever ya know..... he told me about his relationship with janet and i told him about some things that were going on in my life. you know we jus basically talked about everything and everything and well i said we should start heading back, so we did and i guess we got back 4 hrs later or 5hrs later according to david. we seriosuly were not keeping track of time. i thought hey dave is sleeping so it's alright. apparently he wasn't sleeping :-\ guess he was having nightmares of me and josh making out or something :-p but ya so i came back to teh house and me and josh talked some more and then we went into davids room and told him goodnight. i was really tired so i told him im gonna go to bed so josh said he didnt want to sleep downstairs so he'd come upstais with me and sleep on the shag rug so i said thats cool. and i still sorta felt like talking but i wanted to sleep cuz i had to get up at 7 for work in the morning so he said he can't fall asleep unless he talks and i told him im sorta the same way too so we talked a bit upstairs and we knew david was gonan come upstairs, which he did and he said he wanted to talk so i had josh leave and dave got all pissy and depressed and slammed the bed which freaked me out so started crying and i gues i yelled at him cuz i was thinking he was being stupid and stuff complaingin again about Josh and I as always. it was getting quite irritating. but i do understand some of his point even though i still disagree on what his point of view was. anyways when dave was done ranting i went to get him a glass of water and i talked to josha lil in the other room and he asked if he could come back and i told him sure and he well josh or david said they wanted to go fishing and told them i need to sleep cuz i have less than and hour now to get sleep so the guys went fishing and woke me up at 7 so i could get ready for work. i was dead at work. so after that dave came to my house tuesday morning to take me to get my hair cut with kim atthe JC Penny hair salon. so i got my hair cut short. but earlier that day josh was gonna come over and hang with me with Jon after i got my hair done, but dave was coming too which neither of them knew about till josh called me again and i told him and so he set up a lil ambush,lol. it was funny :) but i think dave got pissed. my hair was super cute :) still is ;) so ya josh and jon were gonan hang with us at daves house but dave got pissed like i thought would happen so josh got pissed at him cuz he had me first and stuff. and kim left to go home so dave and i went to his house after buying some stuff. and we got to his house and josh wa sthere with jon. josh left his pole at davids so they decieded to stay. well jake came over too so we had a mini crowd going on. dave and i had to watch his grandma too that night. Josh needed to talk again but this time we put a time limit on it. we went out for a walk again while david made mac and cheese. mmm yummy goodness :) he told me some stuff that was going on and asked me about what i thought and all that. and i talked to him about some things that were bothering me. it helped. i like that fact that i can run to him as well as my boyfriend and tim. i love those guys with all my heart :) and i appreciate them more than anything in this world. so josh and i got back and yeah dave wasn't doing all that well i know he hates when josh and i go off on our own. well josh and i kept talking and stuff and than we went outside to sword fight which was fun :) heheh ei love it. and i sowrd fought with dave but clocked him 2 times in the crotch and afce. i did the same to josh but he didn't do much, LOL. i had so much fun. then we went back inside i think and talked some more and josh was telling me about how he wants me to be his car chick for the race he wants to go on. the coast to coast one. lol so i thought it'd be fun but i dunno. anyway dave and i went out fishing and had some tiem to talk. but not much cuz he didnt have anythign to say really. after all that was done and i went home dave said to me that he coudl see in me and josh's eyes that we liked eachother an dthat pissed me off hardcore especially when he said that josh and i should date instead and that i was too mature for him.... so ya i guess he thought we made up and i was over it that night but how can i get over something like that? especially when he accused me of something untrue and asked me if i wanted break it off. so ya that started my downfall. i was so stressed, pissed, and jus mad as heck at him. he forgot my birthday too..... so that jus tipped it off. i talked to alot of ppl at aork about it. he didnt conatc me for 2 days in anyway. but josh called me on my birthday and said happy birthday to me. i talked to josh the 2 days dave didn't and told him about everything going on. i almsot crie don the phone with him... he understand me and stuff. im so glad i can go to him with my problems. he helps me out alot. and he told me i sshouldnt make any drastic decisions while im feeling the way i was cuz i was gonan break up with him the 6th but i didn't. i canceled everyone for my party, but forgot to cancel aaron. the reason i cancelled was cuz i was feeling like crap and didnt even want to be at his house or have one. he ruined it for me basically. so ya i called daves house the day of the party at work to talk to josh and dave picked up saying josh was sleeping. ..... i wanted josh to pick me up cuz i didnt know if i wanted to see dave. but ave came to pick me up anyway. and it was weird i was so gonna break it off but i jus snapped near the time he was gonna get me and i was happy. for God knows what reason and when i saw him it made me smile big :) i guess i do really love him lots.... so ya i got off and house and a half earlier from work thanks to amy. so me and dave talked till it was 6:30 and apprently he didnt take his meds that day he blew up on me about josha nd such. so he apologized and told me he knows that Josh and i don't like eachother that way and that we are just best buds. so ya i think he still felt bad that he ruined my days, but he made it up :) they paid for my cake and ice cream, pop and stuf like that. aaron got to daves the same time we did. all we did was do video games, eat and then go to bed. dave got me an indipendent shirt, jewlery, and 2 switchfoot cd's. he made me a card too :) aaron gots me a cool card too. so ya i was like dude lets go to bed cuz i was tired so aaron headed off and dave and i went to bed. i did have fun with my boys though. it was good. well the next day dave took me to work and brought my cake to work for everyone to finish. they loved it. it was homemade german chocolate cake. mmmmmm . oh yeah and at work i gues sthey announce your birthday so i got lots of happy birthdays. and this customer even gave me her star bracelet that she got in texas. it's totally rockin and she said i could have it cuz i liked it so much and plus it was my birthday :) . lets see what else. ya i told everyone at work about what happened and that dave and i made up :) it's crazy how fast i made new friends... everyone is like my k-mart family now,lol. josh and i are gonan be setting up our own time to be together now. so maybe it will help dave. i got mor eof the purse done. finally :-P i kinda took a breka. i can't work when im stressed so it has been a couple dayz. sunday my family had a party for me. got some cool stuff. that night dave came and icked me up and we went to see too fast too furiouse. no wait that was saturday we saw that, we also went to check out some "store" lol and then went out to eat at cheddars. sunday we went to walmart to buy some things. cuz our movie that we were gonna see at the theater had already started so we didnt see it. meg stopped in my work today so that was cool. i missed her. err dang it's late now. shoot i need to go to bed. annie is ion her new apartment. errr condo????/ i dunno. it's hampton ridge. i forgot what they are, but ya she loves it and her and dawn are staying together. so ya im gonan go now. im still contemplating about c-stone. but regardless i have my vacation fund and it's good cuz im taking some great trips ^_~ maybe even to another country some year :) ill have 1,200 each year for vacation or maybe even more. i got a raise at work on my birthday. woo hoo!! 7.80 and hour now. anyway night night time. love you all! thanks.

Thursday, June 5th, 2003

(3 shooting stars | wish upon a star)

Subject:right now YOU SUCK
Time:7:56 pm.
it's my birthday and ill cry if i want to dang it. why did you have to screw up my birthday on me?! ................... you know what. it doesn't even matter. at least the people at work said happy brithday. my dad got me subway for lunch and mom took me out for breakfest. but the one i thought would make my birthday a happy one jus ruined it. i dont even want to do anything tomorrow now. shoot im leaveing this house tonight. i aint staying anymore this night and let my life suck today. wait., too late for that. ha. thanks for making my birthday suck. I don't even wanna talk to him today or see him. im so pissed and frickin stressed as heck.

Wednesday, June 4th, 2003

(6 shooting stars | wish upon a star)

Time:6:56 pm.
Mood: depressed.
right now i jus feel like giving up on everything and everyone at this point. i dont hate this crap that jus came up not too long ago. maybe we just need a break......... as if it'd solve anything........... i don't even want to have my party anymore. screw it. im through. im too stressed about a certian situation. i don't even wanna try anymore. it's a bunch of bull and ppl are gonna think what they want no matter what. doens't matter anymore now.........

gosh i hate birthdays. as always something happens around them or i get depressed. i just want to be alone....... like every year..............

Friday, May 30th, 2003

(2 shooting stars | wish upon a star)

Subject:I love this song.
Time:9:54 pm.
Mood: scared.
this song almsot makes me cry everytime i hear and sing it....... makes me think too much :(

She Cries

Won't you come away with me tonight?
We can fly past the moon and the starlight,
It doesn't matter where you've been before,
On a night like this,
It doesn't matter where you've been before,
I'll love you like this,
Can't you see, I won't leave,
But you have to open your eyes.
Here I stand, Take my hand,
Let go of the fear that you hold.
Don't throw your pearls to the swine tonight,
Don't let them take your innocence,
Just remember the times that I held your hand and kept you close,
Remember the times I held you up and now.

(3 shooting stars | wish upon a star)

Time:9:51 pm.
Stavesacre played this song at the concert in Elgin. Tim said it reminded him of us........ so i looked it up tonight and here it is...

Gold and Silver
You slipped from my arms, I knew you had to go
Such a heavy heart, who could hope to hold
And I know where you're going, and that's the hardest part
No matter where tonight ends, you won't escape your broken heart
Stay a while
Helpless for the words, and it tightens up the air
It's not what you deserve, it's not for lack of care
Inside of me is screaming out, I'm praying for my prayers
Distracting and unworthy of each and every burning tear
Seems insincere
Do I see God in all of this? maybe all along
It's just that we're so small, and simply not as strong
Strong like wings of silver, and feathers made of gold
To carry heavy hearts, to cover all our helpless souls
To cover all of us
Under wings of Gold and Silver sometimes we have to hide
For shelter from this bitter winter at least tonight
(If it were mine to give I'd give you your own time
Turn it back or forward whatever you decide)
Stay a while

Thursday, May 29th, 2003

(wish upon a star)

Time:10:28 am.
benji from good charlotte. yeah, hes a winner.

whose your emo boyfriend
brought to you by Quizilla

(wish upon a star)

Time:10:09 am.
Annie came and picked me up from work Monday. She was in my work so she jus decieded to give my house a call and take me out instead :) I love her we have so much fun talking. we drove for hours all around talking and listening to music. then we stopped at loglis for our mini tradition of buying cheese, crackers and capri sun :) mmmmm yum. so we went to my house and sat in my room listening to music and talked while we ate our food. oh we also went to barnes and nobles where she bought me some rockin jones soda. orange and lime. yummy. it had a cool cap that im makingin to a button. it's totally rockin. well i have to go call my social worker right now to cancel and appointment. cuz you knwo that my work comes before most anythign now. cept well.... eer well ya i jus try to fit my friends in the best i can. but it doesnt happen much,lol. and my boyfriend always has time in my scheduale,lol. as long as it's after work and i can still get there on time,lol.

Wednesday, May 28th, 2003

(wish upon a star)

Subject:Pictures, Stars, and Dreams
Time:10:10 pm.
Mood: awake.
sunday dave and i saw the matrix i believe or maybe it was some other day...... who knows anyways friday david came and surprised me with my buddy josh and his girlfriend janet. she is shy but very cute :) i was SO happy to come home and see them ^_^ i was going to walk to amy's house (a friend from work) cuz she lives on arvidson like me, but yeah obviously i didn't since they showed up. they took me to teh young at heart festival where my buddies were working. i got to see aaron ham. larry tuel, and amber g. hehehe i missed my people so muches i was so happy to see them!!!!!! especially amber!!!!!!! hehe we almost screamed when we saw eachother,lol. so ya then tehy all took me out to eat at old chicago cuz cheddars dinner was closed :-P and we didn't wanna eat in the icky smoking sections cuz we are allergic to smoke. i got home around 12 or something and the next day david picked me up from work around 5:45 and i stayed the night. hehe we had tones of fuin. we balanced pop cans on our tummys and booya baby i whipped his butt horribly at it! i could balance 2 cans on my tummy and laugh at the same time! hahahaha we got really silly at night. we watched like 3 movies, swam, had tickle fights, and made some food :) oh and went to some stores. i think so ya i stayed the night till sunday and he took me to my church and came with for the banquet we had. i about fell asleep. we left right afte rteh banquet to go to his place and swim again :) cuz it was soooo nice. we took a walk in krape park. soooo lovely out there :) i love walking in the prak with him ^_^ he picked me bunches of flowers, hehehehehe. i wore his shorts in the park cuz they fit me and i dont have shorts ^_^ i guess i look good in guys shorts :) like a lil sk8r grrl. lol geee not like i don't look good as one. duh. i used to be one! lol so we got home and watched some movies and i called and said i'd be staying the night again so we sat up and watched more movies and had some fun *wink wink* ^_~ so he took me to work at 1am. we got pulle dover by the cops for speeding on auburn street.stupid memorial day. dumb cops are out more. the truck was going faster than our cadie but nooooo we got pulle dover. it was bogus. so he has to pay $75 plus $30 for this stupid school thing for driving. so i went to work later than 10 i went in at 1o:45 so i could stay with my baby till he calmed down a bit. i calle din to work and they said it was cool that i come in late. so i jus held dave as we layed in bed. we were worried what his dad was gonna do and say when he found out. so tuesday our 6 month anniversay rolled around and i went to his house again instead of going ot rock falls with teh renst. i felt torn in two, who to go with..... but dave needed me.... and it was our 6 month and we had this planned b4 hand. my rents kinda winged the rock falls deal on me. so ya i went to daves right after he got out of school which was around1:30. we didn't do that much. we went to culvers.( oh and yesterday i gave him my gift :) it was a picture frame with his fav pic of us ^_^ ) we went out on his lake in the raft. then filled it with water to heat up so it would be like a mini hot tub. the day was great. i love his lake. cept the bottom feels icky :-P lol im always afraid im gonna step on something sharp or dead,lol. we went in and watched his granma from 5 till 8ish i think., we layed in his floor listening to music and cooked ourselves some food. we also played chutes and ladders. hehe it was fun :) watch some more movies that nigth and he took me home around 11 whats rocking is that my buddy has his anniversary with his girlfriend the SAME day as me and daves, the 27th, but they are jus one month apart from us :) hehe we beat them by 1 month ^_~ anyway im trying to get some orders done tonight and play with my bri at teh same time while trying to get my party list. so far i have about 30 i need to contact and dave has 27 he needs to contact for me :) cuz they love in freeport and he's gonna see them before me so ya it'd be easier. i already know of 5 that can'tr make it but i still 57 people who may come. who knows. im hopping to have the party at daves house cuz it's bigger than mine and he has a lake and shtuff :) plus the majority of the people i REALLY REALLY want to come to my party live in freeport. ^_^ not that i dont love my rockford peeps cuz i do muches it's jus i dont getta see my freeport crowd much and i miss them more :) anwyay im way past my bedtime. goodnight everyone. yes another glorious day has gone by. Jesus is the mad! and im stil behind in work ugh. lol Lord help me.lol. ooooh and one big thing is im starting to pay off my hospital bill. thats $181 a month for me now. icky poo. and it's well over a $1,000. but oh well. i got to fix my vacation fund thingy for my road trip this summer. so ya night night now!!!!!! and if you wanna come to my party thats cool with me.

Thursday, May 22nd, 2003

(1 shooting star | wish upon a star)

Time:9:24 pm.
someday i'll write what has been on my mind as of late.... something/someone that won't leave me alone. something/someone that I JUST CANNOT GET RID OF...... someone..... that is haunting me......... these memories........ they have scared me...............

LiveJournal for The One You Can't Forget....

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